I'm a machine

So, obviously, Mark and I had a less-than-normal experience as far as Dane's arrival into our lives; however, I also realized yesterday that my experiences with pregnancy overall were not normal. Or at least, they're not the experiences that you hear about everyday. Hence, I thought I'd recount some of the craziness that brought us to the point we're at now.

I started out with a super easy first and second trimester, no nausea, no extreme fatigue, an ability to exercise at a normal intensity, even doing a Turbo Kick class until my 26th week. However, about 2 months before we met Dane, I started to swell heavily, at first just in my feet, then into my ankles and hands. It was pretty painful at night, and included things like an intense itch at night, enough to keep me awake despite steroid cream to kill the itch. It made simple things like walking up and down stairs and exercising nearly impossible. For someone who was really active before, it was really difficult to realize that I needed to stop most activities and do a lot of hanging out on the couch. I went through those months feeling unsure of everything, unsure if I could handle being pregnant or even a mom. It made me feel weak and helpless; thankfully, Mark was amazing at reminding me of it's temporal nature and also that he loved me no matter how many times I had to ask him to help me put my socks on or whether I was wearing compression stockings in "neutral beige". For the baby shower thrown by our moms, I had to buy a new pair of maternity pants because I was so swollen, even my original pairs of maternity pants no longer fit. I'd been wearing slippers to work for weeks...not a good thing. I had been mentioning the swelling to my OBs at each appointment, but hadn't been...well...pushy enough to get better answers about how to combat it or what it could be caused by (we eventually found out, a couple hours before Dane was born, that it was preeclampsia). If during pregnancy, you ever feel like things are out of control, make sure to get answers that satisfy you. Push until you feel like you can live with the results. For me, I don't know if the preeclampsia could have been managed better, or if Dane would have waited longer to come if I'd gotten better answers.

Since it happened how it did, I ended up losing an insane 30 lbs in the 4 days after the pregnancy, with 4 of those being Dane, and about 26 of water weight. I still hardly recognize myself, but am so thankful to fit back into my normal clothes and shoes already. My blood pressure, also affected by the preeclampsia, may take up to 6 weeks, even on two medicines, to get back to normal. Crazy how much the body's affected by hormones!

During the last week, I've also started pumping to make breastmilk for our little guy, as it's the healthiest option for preemies, especially. In the first couple days, I realized that I again hadn't gotten the greatest answers about what to expect or how to do it, and was pumping for approximately 6 hours a day, making almost twice as much as the normal first time mom...that's just not feasible long term! So, after learning a lesson or two about getting answers from the pregnancy, I talked to some great lactation specialists at the hospital. I learned some specific things about how to control how much/how long I was pumping and how to deal with my physical responses to this new process. So, in the meantime, we have a stockpile of breastmilk that may last Dane (at his current feeding amounts) until he's 18, but I'm now at least capable of controlling how much it's happening, instead of feeling like I'm just a soda fountain with one flavor (thanks for that visual, B:)) Bottom line, when you have questions about your health, if you feel something isn't right, or you're not satisfied with the answers you're being given, keep seeking more information until you are satisfied with it.