Me and the boys...

So, I am finally alone for a second with both of the boys napping in the bedroom. The last couple days have been pretty wild; you never quite understand HOW wild until you get to bring a newborn home for the first time. Combine this with my already slightly exaggerated fear-level (from all the NICU fun), and you have one pretty sleep deprived mom!

As you may have read in Mark's last post, Dane is struggling with constipation; we're not sure if it's caused by the iron supplement he's taking, the formula we're using to fortify his breastmilk, or just the luck of the draw, but it's hard to see him in pain and not be able to immediately quell it! I guess that's just one of the things that parents eventually get used to - having to realize that they need to trust God's ability to take care of their babe when they can't.

As for how we're feeling/coping with the new shift in life, I've bawled pretty much every couple hours the past two days. Today is a little better, as I'm starting to get used to the schedule. I was able to shower, with Dane resting in the living room this morning - on the advice of a nurse who said that you need to force yourself to practice leaving the baby alone in a safe place to do other things, even briefly. She said if you don't start early, it'll only be harder. So, I took probably the world's fastest shower and ran back out to the living room to find Dane sleeping like an angel, not even having moved from the position he was in when I left. Phew. It's good to know that on top of everything else, I don't have to be dirty all the time:)

Mark is doing an amazing job of reassuring me when I get stressed about something, which makes me appreciate him in a whole new way. His relative calm is a beautiful thing when I'm sobbing because Dane's crying and I feel like he deserves someone much more skilled at parenting than I am. Mark is struggling with getting too little sleep, but on the advice of our friends, he's napping while Dane's napping, so that's a good plan for now.

We're also just feeling so excited to be able to see all our little guy's facial expressions, and hear all the little squeaks and sounds he makes. His personality is already coming out and we've laughed a lot about funny things he does. What a cool gift! Although, with us as parents, I'm sure he'll end up having a pretty good sense of humor to survive. Possibly not refined...but good;)

One more thing to pray about - I've been trying all sorts of things to try and decrease my supply (and hence, stop some of the painful/time-consuming stuff that goes along with too much milk), such as hot and cold compresses, taking Sudafed, taking B-6, pumping less frequently, and even putting cold cabbage leaves in my bra (Mark thinks this is hilarious because I smell like cabbage...go figure), but to no avail. I want to be able to focus on caring for Dane, and it's incredibly distracting to constantly be finding lumps that I need to pump out or waking in the night to pain. I would appreciate your prayers.

Well, I too am in need of a bit of rest, so I'm going to hit the hay while I can...yay for sleep!